Saturday, March 23, 2013
No, the Greek has not returned to give us all a look from the other side.
Instead, he has left a void, huge and unfillable with the trivia of this world. Last night, we went to see a local version of Jesus Christ, Superstar. I cried through
every song. Why? George was" just a man,". Sound familiar? But, his suffering and his desire to have this cup taken from him was too familiar in every word of the songs sung in that play. Yes, he was just a man, but he suffered, was rejected by those who before had befriended him, by family that should have enclosed and comforted him and in the end, his choice was preordained.
I was going to tell you of how MS devoured him. Of all the terrible symptoms that he endured with a calm spirit, an almost unearthly calmness that was so alien do a doer, a man who got things done impatiently, who never waited until tomorrow. Well, he got a hard lesson. He found that there are things you cannot do, no matter what your strength of will or resolve.
I can continue for many pages, revealing so much about who George was, the man who thought he was very simple, not deep, not a thinker. His blog and his endurance of the last five years gave us the truth about who he was. I cannot be more eloquent or profound than he, himself was.
So, I write these words as the last that will be on this blog. As he said, time will pass, life moves on, last years leaves drop, become the mulch for the next spring, and then are forgotten. He accepted the flow of life. He did not accept the injustice of it, or maybe, in the end, he did.
I will leave it for you the reader, to mull over all that he said, and decide.
After George died, I found the attached picture folded in his wallet. It speaks volumes of what finally drove him to make his personal choice.
As his Mother, I will hold him in my heart each day and night, trying to preserve
the memories that I know will fade with time. I am writing my thoughts on my own blog, Xaidw Speaks.com. It is dark and sad, and I do not know if it will ever change. I do know, that for the first two weeks after his death, I could feel him close by. Now, it is as if he has left, disappeared into the atmosphere, gone completely.
I know we will all move on, whatever that means. His words, though, have influenced many of you. You have told me and commented on his blog. He would have been surprised, but secretly gratified. After all, he was a simple man.