Saturday, August 4, 2012

Multiple Sclerosis-What's In the Name?

     The other day I was reminded by a good fried of mine to be thankful once again for what we can do and not focus on what we cannot do.  It is really easy to get caught in the can't do when MS seems to rob me each and every day.  This friend of mine, who when often straightens me out I usually admit to him "you Jewish bastard, "you're right again."  He usually proceeds to throw the stupid Greek thing at me and I am good for a couple days.  However, the can't do's usually come back to me as I forget his advice often quite simply.  It can be something as easy as dropping my tooth brush thanks to an entirely numb hand without sensation and I get pissed with my inabilities.
     It has been a heat lovers dream this Summer, breaking temp records consistently.  Conversely, for one with heat intolerance, correction, major heat intolerance this Summer has been hell, literally.  As a result, my window of activity has shrunk immensely.  I may get out three hours in the morning by way of perhaps a scooter ride, spend the next eight hours indoors, and try to get back out for the latter part of the day when often coolness prevails.  So the other day while talking to my friend on the cell, the Jewish B as I refer to him,  while outside one late afternoon, bitching and cussing about how little I am able to do, he quickly silenced my rhetoric.  He who also suffers from "supposed" MS, admitted how he would kill to spend three hours outside, as he has been housebound for almost two months thanks to the heat, symptoms, and the horrific and ill effects of MS. 
    Here I was outside, uncomfortable, but still outside,all the while he remains confined to the house.   I am barely out there, yet I felt like a complainer, inconsiderate and negative, while often forgetting the fact I am not the "old" me but rather a sub-version and better start being thankful for those three hours out which seem nothing to me but would mean so much to him.
     MS has a way of doing this.  Just the acronym alone is revolting to me.  MS.  Multiple Sclerosis.  God how gross can two words be together.  Lots of scars basically is what it means.  MS. Managing Stress, Merely Surviving, Marital Status, Muscle Stiffness, Mainly Shit, More Shit, Mostly Shit, call it whatever you want but any way you put it it sucks.  The key is not allowing it to consume the three hours you get to go out each day, before returning to captivity, jail, bed and the like.
     How many of you get up each day, work, play, clean, eat, party, and hit the bed without even considering the fact that 15 or 16 hours past by?  Well I am here to tell ya, you better start recognizing what you're doing, and as opposed to getting up each morning and complaining about how tuff yesterday was, remind yourself how lucky you are to kill 15 or 16 or 17 hours today.  Imagine cutting that by three quarters, suddenly finding yourself confined to a wheelchair, suffering with pain and sickness, hoping and praying that you are well enough to get three or four hours in without relying on others to get you through the day, if you're lucky enough to have the endurance and the "others," as many do not.
     This weekend for me, although hotter than hell has been one of the most special and beautiful weekends in a long time.  I have had my son Michael, who is nine years old, hanging, laughing, cuddling, eating, and playing over the house, and as I mentioned earlier, enjoying that three or four hours with me.  Take what you can get no matter how little or insignificant it may seem and make the memory last the whole day.  If you are lucky to keep your health you will most likely take this time for granted naturally. 
     When every day those two little letters MS are so crippling to me, this weekend they represent one thing, Michael's Smile, and forget the rest, this is the memory I am focusing on...

3 comments:

  1. George you r a wonderful man and father! Those kids are very lucky to have your strength in their lives! Love you bro! Keep fighting!

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  2. You are right. It is so easy to take it all for granted. So glad you got to share that weekend! Love you! Gina

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